Yup...That is what I am sometimes! I am fully aware that my pain levels have been reduced by a single program on my Neurostimulator, and that there will be many other programs available that will help. But I still get angry at the pain, and I still whine. This morning I am feeling my limitations. These are not new limitations, I just pushed them before. Now I won't dare, because I don't want to cause problems with the lead or the Neurostimulator. So, what is the whining about? I had the urge to color with my Copic markers. When I color I tend to hunch over what I am coloring, and I know that I cannot do that. So I whined! Logically I know I can change my methods somehow. And that the wonderful people I have as Facebook friends would give me tons of suggestions - but first I must whine!
The benefits of waking up each day knowing my pain level will not start as an 8 (scale 1-10, with 10 being give me morphine!) is a gift. The St. Jude Neurostimulator has worked that well. My mind is clearer, because it is not consumed with pain. This is something I do not believe anyone but chronic pain patients understand. And I think that is a good thing for them. Now that my mind feels better and I can think more clearly, I know when I am rested from surgery, and cleared to begin activity, I want to work on my weight and stamina. I can't wait for the days, when I feel so much better, and pain pills are not as necessary.
I have gone out each day this week, and have not hit anything in my garage - or elsewhere! Tomorrow I am not going anywhere, just resting. It is still a million degrees out, but more than that, it is just difficult to get in and out of my van. The difficulty would be there with any vehicle. It's the turning while sitting, the backing out of parking spots, and the areas the backup camera does not cover. Next week, I have to go out two days for Dr. appointments, and I am sure I will want at least another day. However, I think taking it easy is my future. I am quite sore today, and while the pain doesn't feel internal and/or spinal in nature, I am also very exhausted. So rest!
There are many things I can do at home. I am not a fan of daytime TV, so I think I am going to work on the challenge of coloring. I think the first thing I should do is get a clipboard to hold the images. I am starting to feel like quilting (English Paper Piecing) again. Also, my very awesome Stampin Up friend gave me about 100 card fronts to make into cards for Operation Write Home. I have hundreds of books on the Kindle that I have not read (many haven't wanted to :) ), and a few hard copy books.
I am also setting a goal for myself to write at least one Any Hero note per day until Halloween!
Off to heal! Such hard work!
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